☆ my solar wind ☆

when we lay like this

on a bench drenched

in stars 

fingers reaching 

after solar winds

northern light

i can not help

but wrap you tight

inside my arms

in a forest of frost

i am filled with sparks

you shine brighter

than millions 

of galactic stars 

as the green light dances

pulsates

breathes 

flows abroad

i understand why some believe in god

because no matter how encompassing it is

you are more mesmerizing than all of this

more than any nature phenomenon

any solar eclipse

i find no other explanation

than angles, beads, and paintings

when i look at your face

when i look in those eyes

i see your warmth

in the candle light

and your love and your smile 

in the cold otherworldly night

means everything to me

you encompass so much more than passion, empathy, and beauty

what i feel for you is greater, stronger and more heavy

than any word we ever made up

any mountain or temple we built 

to reach the sky's top

nothing in the universe

gives justice to

what i have in me for you

what i feel in my heart and my soul and my bones

when you reach for my hand and fill me with gold

when you say my name and the world feels whole

you make any place feel safe like home

because you are everything i would ever return to, and more

☆ bleeding in the corner ☆

Do you ever wake up

And dont like you too?

Please dont touch me

If silky smooth skin

Is all i am to you

If you watch me like drawings

If you treat me like paper

Blurry my lines with glue

I'm not made of ink

I breathe blood

All through you

You see i am rotting

Glazed with formalin

Perserve me

Percieve me

But dont stroke me

This flesh that you

Love so much

Will wrinkle

Shrink and curl up

Or slowly decompose

Turn into meadows

Of dispose

And when i am nothing

When i am nothing to you

But a mind

And a memory 

Will you still love me?

☆ i want to be meat ☆

i wanna chug down

bottles of glass now

taste of tears 

in my mouth

i wanna swallow 

the set 

of kitchen knives 

i think they'll do good 

inside my hives

now

now

please

need some company

need some release

burning in my throath

to ease

to please

something, something

to cut the feeling

of the world

rotting

kill me

kill me, please

to cut the feeling

all feeling

to cut me

are you okay?

are you okay?

yeah i'm full 

of adrenaline

i'm ecstatic 

i see a pretty vase, 

flowered cup

i want 

to ruin it

throw it down a cliff

watch its beauty shift

like i'll do to

my body

too many things 

have been done to me

i want to be meat

forget my frame

my shell

my soul

let my skin boil

☆ slave ☆

i'd like to wax on

my wings now

to feel

to see

to be

this isnt where i want to be

the future feels

like a mechnical machine

a number on a screen

documentary on TV

and i'm wondering 

which type of contestant

i will be

i want to fly far away

where i'm not sick

and roofs are blue

where i can live

and life can be true

empty faces

fake-nice voices

wrong minded 

wrong choices

this life

makes me nauseous

lost in a swirl

a swirl of endless office

nothing to offer

forever and ever

until I fall over 

i sold my life to the contract

it contracts my hours

and give me paper for the hassle

a number on the shoulder

wrap me in polyester 

and tell me its natural

they tell me to step in line

wait for my time

to not be around

stample my lips

and glue my eyes

i am a slave

to the state

i am a slave

to the rat race

to walls and fences 

i cant escape

☆ twisted truth ☆

roofs are white

maybe 

they used to be

red or green or blue

i cant trust 

my head to remember

and whenever it looks white

i feel like finding you

to hang up some flowers

or paint a pattern all through 

yet the paint wears of

rust and dust cover up

and i cannot see my intention 

and our patterns are silent

and its oh so silent

but i keep shut

hush

hush

hush

☆ everyone's favourite colour ☆

oh

to be cold

crystalized

sharp

i bled long

i cried hard

but my color 

remains in dread

my color remains red

my sparks not fled

my head not dead

though i tried

to be blue

to calculate

my way to

shallow water parks

surface marks

and shiny cars

they teach us to be

what they like to see

handy little instruments

adult proof weapons

and i tried to be 

of their use

despite my crimson blood

and rose thorns all through 

i thought commitment

and hard work

was more noble

than love

than passion 

than happiness

i listened to my father 

my mother

i digress

since they day i was born

you'd pinch my skin

color my blood

with blue thorns

to give me blue thoughts

blue horns

you gave me painting sets

and told me i was capable of it

of making my best palette

your best palette

be your favourite 

and my fingers

could be cold

if i drained my heart

sold my soul

and all around

important people

would make the same

scratchy sound

mumbling

mathematic buzzing

soulless action

eyes glued

to numbers we imagined 

for efficiency

paper we printed

and said would lead

to equality

no wonder we can't

cut deeper

when the knife 

isn't real

no wonder they

call us witches

because we see

put us in flames of red

we'll melt 

happily

☆ fly ☆

i have wings that want to fly

still my feet stay ground

a heart that wants to burn

but eyes that close and turn

a brain outside my head

a head outside my life

a soul that wants cotton

a soul that wants the knife

i have holes who need filling

and a driller that keeps drilling

but my hands that keep clipping

my feet that keep chipping

are'nt encompassing enough

loud enough 

to get to the core

to find the missing colour 

all my rain

takes too long 

and i need to

fill my lake

fill my lake

i dont fill it often

i dont

i forget my lake

i forget my life

so i turn to my vice

my pacemaking device