☆ How to get lost in your own universe ☆

You’re used to looking at yourself like you’re a galaxy 

Without knowing how limiting it can be 

You see your different stars

and solar systems

And think these are fundamental

Unchangeable

You think that

This is all you are

And all you will ever be

Instead, you should start

To pay attention to the art

Of the universe

You will never know all of you

I will never know all of me

There will always be change

There will always be room for growth

We are complex and ever-changing 

Expanding and shape-shifting

There is no time to loose on limiting beliefs

Like thinking;

I’m unworthy

I’m unlovable

You tell yourself;

I’m bothersome and boring

I’m ugly and annoying

I’m disgusting

Icky

Dirty

Repulsive

I'm brain dead

and I hate every thought in my head

But dont you see?

All the thoughts you ever had of yourself

Were never facts

They were just beliefs

And all the little words you tell yourself 

control you more than you think

You consist of thousands of shooting stars

Molecular parts

Your existence is a wonder

Self hate is a curse

You are as astonishing as any other universe

Get lost in a hunt for self realization

Loose yourself in the never-ending

Dark matter of your mind

and lunar eclipse in your eyes

You are an unexplainable miracle

blah blah blah

it feels like

everyone is speaking

with no other meaning 

than to say words

sugar

i'm so sick of 

all these surface level conversations

and fake smiles

and sugary sweet goodbyes

dosent matter how ugly the truth is

just be sure to cover it with pretty lies

Hånd i hånd

Her går jeg 

hånd i hånd 

med smerten 

Og jeg kunne ikke

hatt det bedre

For smerten er tyngre

om jeg har den på ryggen

Og later som den ikke eksisterer

☆ natural disaster ☆

there is this destructive feeling

i can’t really explain

it’s when life gets so overwhelming

it makes me feel insane

i have been told repeatedly that i’m overreacting

but i don’t know how to stop what you call exaggeration

its like a thousand fireworks being lit inside my head

its too loud and too much at once

the sparks and lights crashing together

my world is painted in reds and blues and pinks

i feel the colors bleed from my eyes

as you tell me to relax and paint on a smile

it’s like my mind is a tornado

or a hurricane

an electric storm

purple lightning

more like a million wildfires

or a tsunami

avalanche

blizzard

natural disaster

i’m an earthquake of a person

i’m a whole fucking volcanic eruption

i'm just trying to save myself from corruption

convinced human existence is a malfunction

smile for the picture

the cost we pay

to keep our pride

all the flaws we hide

to appear as perfect

human beings

without feelings

or dreams

other than maintaining

the false reality

of a picture perfect family

☆ puzzle piece ☆

you judge every part of me

use your knife to cut into the skin

of my hands and feet

before you spit on my words and thoughts 

and everything I feel

use your greedy fingers to

rip apart my personality

pick apart and examine me

i’m not a person

just a game of 

puzzle

and you decide which

puzzle piece

should be thrown

and which i get to keep

Du blir aldri bra nok

De har repetert det for deg

siden dagen du ble født

De har skrevet det ned

igjen

og igjen

På hendene dine

I ansiktet ditt

På klærne du kjøper

På maten du spiser

På reklamene du hopper over

På arkene de deler ut

De har presset det i deg hver morgen

som teskjeer med tran

Vond hostesaft

Piller som er for store

til å svelges

Det har blitt

Sagt ut

Sparket ut

Slått ut

Skreket ut

At du er mangelfull

At du må være mer

for å være verdt noe

At du må gjøre mer

for å være verdt noe

Du er for lite

Men du er også for mye

Uansett hva du gjør

Blir det aldri bra nok

Uansett hva du gjør

Blir du aldri nok

☆ the painter ☆

I painted so many portraits of you

I forgot to look at the real person

I was standing next to 

all I saw was my flawless creation

image of my never-ending imagination

not who you were

but who I wish you would be

the pictures in my head were so striking

the strokes from my paint brush

were so overwhelmingly soft  

the oils blending into one another 

with sweet precision 

the curves and the lines all made sense somehow

but everything from your crystal eyes

to the edge of your jawline

was a meaningless redesign

☆ electricity ☆

since the moment i met your crystal eyes

and saw how they curved up when you smiled

i was forever changed

everything from your jokes

to your compassion

shaped me into someone new

in a way

i became something different

something undefinable

flowing like liquid

or maybe I became something more concrete

like an idea

or a concept

a mosaic of crashing thoughts and perspectives

a beautiful mess of colors and patterns

a hurricane of light

the thunder in the storm

and the flicker in your eyes

electricity in your fingertips 

when they met mine

i felt alive