☆hands of fate☆

Hands placed through

Loops of deafness

Eyes of narrow

And hands might

Move wrong

And then

We'll all 

We'll all be done 

For every light

That passes 

The fear enhances

For every breath

Chemical wreck

By being behind

The machine

The wheel

Of someone

So 

So

Stupid

Eaten

Swallowed

And pecked by birds

How can someone 

Be of someone

Like that someone

With sticky

Stained hands

And a head

Twisted and pulled

A head

Without human

☆sheep☆

We bleed into

The paper

That we hold

Marked and slasched

We stand maltracted

In our hands

The books 

The wheels

Are sticky

With all we are

With all we have

And its never 

ever

red enough

 

Never red enough 

For the measuring tape

The tests or the scales

And never warm enough 

For the pumping 

Of the machine

Mark our numbers 

Though outnumbered

A farmer

Controlling

Its inferiors ears

Put us

In our place

Through fences of thorn

needles and nails

We are

Ripped of bone and spine

Treat us 

Like sheep

Since you 

were born a swine

no one could play forever

As a child

I learnt

Dead kids

Live in the mud

And like fishes

And bugs

No one

Could play forever 

☆a copy of a copy☆

Walking through walls of people

Waves of strangers

Mats of matter 

Swimming through life stories

Diving deeper

Countless terretories

And the first lagoon reminds me

Of the next

The first coral

Of the last

The strangers

I see them in eachother 

I see them mirroring

on the surface of the sea

Like starfish

One but the same recepie

Masses of static 

from lots radiostations

I wonder how they still live

The jellyfishes

Jelloed impulses

Everyone is like the other

Seems almost robotic

Everyone is a copy of a copy 

of a copy

And my greates badge

Was not being a copy of a copy

I was someone 

who thought for themselves

But i'm just a copy of a copy 

who thinks its not a copy

ribcage

my bones frail

my frame fragile

everything i'm built up of

is thin and breakable

pieces of porcelain

scattered all over

i'm a closed window

waiting for another stone

to spread my glass splints

all around town

the smallest disturbance

shake of the table

knocks my cup over

i spill into splits

hide the floor 

under layers of

skin

bones

gore

consequences of 

a mental nuclear war

i use my sharp points

needles of blood 

arrows of bone

to pierce anyone that reaches out

gathers my flesh

helps me heal some

no matter how many times

you throw my pounding heart 

back into my rib cage

it rolls right out 

feels safest on the ground

between rotting leaves

slugs

and slippery cobblestones

my heart

no longer beating

would pound to the same rhythm 

melodies of united suffering

we are lost

and no one knows 

what the fuck they're doing

the hymn of a thousand questions

is the only thing

we have in common

decorating

we decorate ourselves

as we decorate space

rooms in our houses and heads

we decorate ourselves 

for love and admiration

am i doing the wrong thing?

we decorate ourselves

as deceased corpses

trying to look happy and alive

though we are decomposing

on the inside

everything living

is a future dead thing

created anew as the sky turns blue

I am no grocery product

No fruit

You can't stamp

Or sticker me up

I am free

To be something 

Confusingly unboxed

Undefinable

What a wonder

To not know what and why

To be free to flow 

With the breeze of every life

And let yourself

Be painted new

As the sky turns blue

And every moring

Be created anew

no seatbelts

There is no one up

Looking down

We are on the same plain

Strapped to the same line

No seatbelts

Or airbags in sight

☆kids know weeds are plants too☆

You don’t own the sun

Just because you're older

I melt away

In the salty rainbow

Of an abused toddler

It hurts to love 

like this

I am covered 

in chalk and gum and spit

Please dont

Bite the back of my neck

Or yell beads of spit 

onto my face

Throw away the pencil marks

And birthday cards

With the scents and the warmth

And the light

I chased in grass fields 

painted golden and bright

The gravel and bark of trees

The scrathes on my knees

sting so much

When it is you doing this

No patch

No hug

No kiss

Do you do

as you do

because someone did?

Does it feel good

to be a bullied bully

to be a blue beetle

With your body and juice

smached all over 

the warm dry pavement

Between the weeds, sand and insects

Without knowing

Without feeling

And kids know

weeds are plants too

weeds are plants too

We still love and care for them 

We see colour in the bruise 

And we know 

We know the rules

You don’t own the sun

Just because you're colder

I melt away

In the salty ocean

Of someone never chosen

☆a cry for every cut☆

I have an ache in me

Splinting pain

A crushing cry for every cut

Slit and stud

And i have dark clumps in my lungs

A dark overlook

On the hills and slopes of our creature

The wiring and pulling

That lead to our downfall

We are all falling

But some steep furthermore

With their black

Bloodless cores

I have a hate in me

That cant be lullied or kissed away

A split that won't heal

A scar that always bleeds

For houses without music

Instead church orgels

And sliced organs

Of hands hard 

With knuckles and rings and bones

I have a cry in me

A scream in me

For every glass bottle and every cup

Every 

I have the scream of an unloved child

Meeting the world with a pocket knife

I have a piercing wound in me

For every mother and little sister

Every father and big brother

Who turn blue and black

In the dark silouette

Of another

Taking the form of a loved one

A lover

Living on the edge

I'm throwing pebbles (crystals*) and rocks

Down the cliffs

Listen as their bodies shift

Their spines snap and click

I still dont know

How to live

Harshly, stone hits stone

Mountain hugs mountain

I have hugged every human

Except the body standing

Swaying and swirling

On the edges of dawn

The rocks cut off,

What is tipping over?

How does one fall?

Dance and spin

And twirl and trip,

I still dont know

What is time?

And how to kill?

I still dont know 

How to live

simmering squid

I am a heavy

Pile of

grey stones

A clump of cells

Hot as magma

I am

A bleeding peice 

of dead meat

On a baking sheet

I call my bed

Or on a plate

I call my sofa

What good 

Can i do 

Of myself

With myself

When i feel

Like a boiled

Stripped meal

A skinned animal

And the herds

And crowds

Sing along

With my shouts

I am a coocked 

Swollen squid

A mismatched

Unfinished being

I feel my limbs 

hanging thick

Heavy from my neck

Slippery and squishy

And numb

And pale

My limp limbs

No longer looking

No longer searching 

My blank

feelings done

In this boiling 

deafening pot

I am 

the coocker

I am the boiler

Drowning in 

my own skin

And in such a folded

tight space

I am emptied out

i forget everything

i have ever learnt

or ever heard

About crawling out

or talking to be heard

And i feel my soft 

Triangle head

Heat and shred

Into something 

that isn't black

It isn't gray

It just isn't 

Like how the blind

Dont see black

Just a nothing

And even though

through

Blurred and laced

Red pearl eyes

I see

A dissapearing world

I turn my skull down

To the metal

Beneath my crown

As i let the blood 

color me

Name me in pink

I am 

a beautiful vision

as i shrink

And let the world 

be left dead 

behind

my aimless, hopeless

geometrical head

Boiled to bed

I could never do

or be anything 

of what we said

boxed and wrapped up

Trapped 

in a dominion

Of moral thievery

Hierarchical machine

We coexist

In tin cans

With wheels

And lights

And batteries

In boxes of cement

And wet cardboard

With plastic 

Wrapped around our necks

Squearing our cheeks

Thickening our bloodstreams

We are living

In a construction

We created

A life

Through needletips

And domestication

the way of the gods

My body 

Is one

Of ancient times

Of grassfields

Wooden structures

Wool and thyme

My body built

For the vast blue

Deep and full

And endlessly changing 

My head built

For the want and the hunt

Moving and forming 

Through life's flora

With the sensations

To feel it

To live it

My creature bulit

To be of nature

And survive its ripping

Its curling and pulling

With wind and waves

Patterns and rattlesnackes

Listen to humming bees

And smell nectar, leaves and lakes

Yet

Misplased

A world shaped

From our image

In cold sharp metal

And like gods

We demand

Life cut up

Into slits of red

Breathing to stop

Lungs to shread

How can we comfort ourselves?

We are the murderes

Of all murderers

Nature is dead

We are killing all

We did not create