longing

In the night

Hungry and longing

Home

To my home

I feel an overwhelming cleanliness 

Like newly washed pillow cases

tears you let yourself weep 

and the cold morning breeze 

I am not so wrong off

I am not so lost

We are all

Just human

Just human

And I am not so lost

See, I have something so utterly untouchable in this world

Pure as snow 

And warm as a home

Sweeter than any herb or spice

honey or fruit

And as colourful as all corals and crystals 

and flowers in this world

Something that pulls like the ocean

So blue and full and flowing with emotion 

I have something that rises over the mountains and the trees

Holds me when i sleep

Something that moves my sun and my moon

I have the world 

And I have you

it looks so easy

Everything unpacked 

Open like a wound

I see through laced curtains

Bandages and foam

And everything isnt everything 

How is it so easy

I carry one heart too many

Sorry i cannot machine

It looks so easy

Dont you think

☆ In line ☆

Oh, to fit like a book in the shelf

That never wants to be opened

Like clothes folded at the bottomn of the closet

Like ducks at the pond, swimming in line

I wanted to be in line, folded, rectangular

Like a white house with white bars and white windows sills

I felt i was something strange and unpleasant

An animal in the zoo noone wanted to look at

A bacteria, a piece of mold, a stain

Something to get rid of

Something to discard

So i just wanted to be easy

Like most and to feel seen when i am only being watched

To be washed down to molecular parts only to be formed

to fit into the mold 

and to be cut 

by the cutter

old figures of the past

Old figures of the past

I did not know how much love

i still poured in their glasses at every meal

with the cucumber, honey and oatmeal

Another life and another time

Have they forgot 

The beaches and the stores and the carrides

And noone reaches out

Like we reached out our arms to the world, our hands out the windows

And they seem to flow and fill truly

Finally like flowers in all their colours

I just wish I could be there, and blossom too

Feels like an ocean apart

When i remember and look at the photographs

I know they are all doing better

Better than ever

And I am filled with warmth and love and laughter

I want to braid their hair and beed bracelets, run trough cornfields and to have sleepovers like we were children

And I pour over with love

Though i could never have told anyone

It could never be the same agian

I am just an old figure of the past 

☆no rush ☆

The wind brings the world

Raw ocean air with crystals of ice

I close my eyes to feel it and be it

And in the smell of melting snow and smoke and blooming flower buds

Life Is not your feet or hands or brain

And how fast they can travel

Life Is your fingertips and cheeks and warmth

I wish to have a big life

To live with my whole

And when the sun seeps between the trees

And the leaves turn the colour of sunsets

There should be no running with hands and feet and brain

I want the truth in water droplets on leaves and wheat fields 

of all things rich and lush

No rush

No rush

No comparison