I knew it would be hard ☆☆☆☆

I went to the store

At 12 the world had gone asleep

I watched sugar coated trees

Glistening in the moonlight

I put a fruit caramel in my mouth

And felt the soft air hug me

I have been so terribly sad lately 

Like a sinking pit, fruit seed of sadness 

in my stomach 

It lives a quiet life

And never goes to rest

Always the weight suprises me

I think, maybe i had forgot how it feels

And all around me the people seem to do it all

Put in the work and the numbers (fit and) drift seamless, like autumn leaves in fall

Like a puzzle, like a colourbook

And me too I have dreams 

but i do not know where they are headed

So i tried to follow that feeling in the core

The spine of my heart

I knew it would be hard

So now i watch the sun through the apartment

The sun on the ocean

To go swimming again when the sickness leaves

And it must leave

like all else 

I have been thinking lately like the few people i have, are so incredibly prescious to me

That they are my life, what truly matters

My lover and my bestfriend and my sisters

To visit, and call them, and hug them all

I will hold on tight, this is my reminder of it all

I have been thinking of my aunt, how i understand it

But she had no sister, no bestfriend, no lover like i do

I will get through 

And the music that holds my hands also gnaws at them 

But this poem is the crystal of my soul

It spins and it gives and it cleans 

Of what a luck, this body can be a home

My poem its interior

And all my dreams like sun shining through the windows