☆ ego death -fikssss

moving

slowly sliding

into another skin

into another state

what confuses me

makes me whisper

in my sleep 

is i cant tell

if i'm

growing

or decomposing

until i am fully bloomed

or completely rotten

recently

i got a card in the mail

the color made me happy

cherry blossom pink

i felt so lucky

getting an invitation

to the funeral 

of my identity

 

stuffing my salty face

with soft angel cake

as i mourned the death

of my ego

the idea i had if me

the person i was told to be

i'm not sure if its a curse

or a blessing

to loose yourself in this way

shaking as i glimt

the glossed black casket

lilies in my bloody hands

i killed the construction of myself

i strangled her

and broke her neck

breaking my own reflection

i killed her before i could ask 

why

why

was there blood spilled?

if she was never part of

reality at all

if she was just a concept 

of the mind

or can concepts like these

be true in a way too?

i drowned in my questions

the ocean took me

sharp glass waves

dragged me 

with all their rage

cleansing my core

baptising me

at the sea shore

now

i feel as if nothing is mine

and nothing belongs to me

and i am not one thing

or the other

i am everything and nothing

i am the whole universe

in human form

i am complete