i am what i surround myself with

when i lay like this

it truly feels as if i dont exist

as an individual 

but as a part of whats around me

i'm the birds and their music

the way the dandelion seeds spread like magic

i'm the soft grass i feel against my skin

i'm the summer air i breathe in 

i'm the laughter of the kids in the neighborhood block

i'm the phone ringing and the voice that answers in shock

☆ dying to live ☆

i've died as many times

as i've been reborn

once agian alive

flourishing with new life

before the spring and its beauty

comes a winter of coldness and brutality

but its yet because you know

how it feels to lack the warmth

to lack the bliss

that you can truly feel

springs unforgettable kiss

☆ something worth living for ☆

I just wish you would take my hand

drag me to a concert of your favourite band

in your black velvet dress

promise me to stop trying to repress

how the world chews you

before it spits you out in distress

your porcelain skin is covered in salt unless

you tell me about the music

about something worth living for

lead me through the door

into your core

you said art is your religion

well you are mine

and the day you die

beauty itself will die with you

we've been running our whole lives

i'm on fire

it burns

i'm running

praying i make the right turns

do no more harm

dont make reality of my concerns 

but no matter how hard i try

i cant seem to catch up to my yearns

I've been running my whole life

running after everything i wish to acquire

I've been running after approval

trying to catch up to validation

fulfilling expectations

and living up to peoples manifestations

its a never ending race

trying to be perfect

trying to be enough

trying to be what they expect

you've been running your whole life too

running away from everything and everyone trying to trap you

running away from their gazes and glances

their ever-present judgement

running away from their expectations

their disappointment

running away from the uncomfortability

and uncertainty

of being someone special to me

sticky worn out sneakers

thank you for always being there for me 

and feeling my emotions with me 

trying to put yourself in my shoes

because i'll continue to wear yours if you wear mine

maybe we will both have shoe collections

instead of sticky worn out sneakers 

with holes, sharpie stains and patched fabric

or maybe that's what makes them feel so special

maybe the messiness and the weird little quirks 

are what make them beautiful

that they fit so perfectly

they show our scars and our history

so take my muddy and scrunched up dock martins

and i'll steal those cracked and dirty converse

bring your roller skates

lets walk around town like we own it

when i call you my best friend

i hope you believe it

i will have a little rain, thank you

you want to be happy all the time

to feel the sun kiss your skin

and the warmth that comes from within

i love the golden light

truth is

i used to wish for only sunshine in my life

but now i see

it would be too monotone

and too dry

that even the sun couldn't make smile

anymore

i tell myself

if you want a pretty garden

full of life

you need rain for the seeds that you saw

bad weather is essential

not a flaw

though its harder to survive

you might have to clench your jaw

but i believe you will live through it all

without a little rain

without a little wind

the leaves wouldn't unfold

the sprouts wouldn't spring

you need both sun and the rain

to let flowers bloom

and colors flourish

you need a few cloudy nights

to appreciate the sunset

mountain walls

i used to scream my lungs out

towards the mountain wall

waiting for your echo

to answer my call

hoping my voice would travel through your barricade of stone

i didn't think of it as an invasion of your zone

you know i would do anything to make you feel not so alone

but in the end you wished to remain unknown 

i remember when you used to let me crawl into your cave

travel into your core

you let me admire your plains of green

your flowers of gold

you let me see the view

from the top of your mountain floor

laughing as the wind caught my hair

seeing how the cotton clouds framed the shore

so many of your wonders that i wanted to explore

in the end you just couldn't give me more