i want to grow mean ☆☆☆

I want to grow mean and ugly in spite

To show this is not theirs or yours or his

I am mine

To let the withering happen to displease the pleased and pull from the ground the muddy roots and distortions of beauty

What is beauty anyway

To blank glasseyes

And greasy fingers

Dirty

Hungry and grasping

For only what shows in mirrors

For they can never know beauty

They never have known

They see a body and a face

Like a smooth glasslike depthless thing

Like a diamond or golden plate or a postcard

But beauty is in the very bending and being and breathing and creating

The fact she is human and alive

The wierd and unique way that beautiful face smiles 

where one corner of the lips are higher up

Or the glimt of emotion in eyes

And all the layers of a human undernearth the layers of skin

And true love, true beauty can only be felt when listening quiet and open

With care and kindness

So do not tell me you know beauty 

When you strip everything down to its simple reflections

What a disgusting way to view a human

To never look within

To never think enough to see what is behind the glass

Where true and full and human beauty resides