fredag 4. august 2023

rewiring my brain

i try to rewire my brain
the complexity
causes eyestrain
the infinite coding
drives me insane
data programs
diagrams
the devil on my shoulder
weighs a thousand kilograms
the systems
and patterns
in which my brain operates
are outdated
and deeply hated

to listen to my
inner voice
by choice
without critique
is nothing but
self-sabotage
in camouflage
of listening to
my heart

learning to be
hyper-aware 
of my behavior
was my saviour
from the hungry dogs
who prayed on my failure
if i took one wrong step
it was in the direction
of a clear death
but if i spy and disapprove 
of my every move
criticize everything i do
i will redirect my behavior 
until i wont
have any exposed flesh

no one can 
bite me where
i have not been bitten 
by myself

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